Sorrowful yet always rejoicing

Last Sunday morning Aunt Suzanne entered eternity at the age of 50 after fearlessly battling brain cancer for 21 months. Here's an attempt to capture some of my thoughts and emotions.

Suzanne loved beauty. She always looked beautiful. She brought beauty and order to her home. Her warm smile and cheerful voice welcomed everyone to the parties she loved to have.  The food was always delicious and artistically displayed.

That beauty is now hidden from our view. We have the beauty of the gifts she gave. Her home is decorated in the same way, but now it feels empty, as if the soul is gone.

So we grieve. Her family grieves most deeply.

While we mourn, Suzanne is in the place of indescribable beauty. Those who have seen it ended up tongue-tied, grasping for ways to help us imagine what heaven is like. She's there drinking it all in, filled with awe, wonder and worship.

I wonder about the conversations she has had with Jesus and the wholeness that she now experiences. I wonder if Jesus has given her a part in preparing the wedding supper of the Lamb, that feast to beat all feasts. I wonder how long it will be before she throws a party for her family members from past generations to hear the stories of how God's grace brought them safely through the storms of life. I wonder if she has discovered the heavenly library and picked out a book to read and found a place to stretch out on the grass in the warmth of the sun that can no longer burn her skin.

Suzanne walked through the valley of the shadow of death without fear because she knew what is promised to those who trust in Jesus for forgiveness. She believed her Savior had a good plan. She trusted him to make something beautiful out of the ugliness of cancer. How stunning she must look in the elegant dress of her righteousness that increased as she trusted and praised her God in the midst of the storm! (Rev 19:8)

Through all of this, Uncle Steve has led his family in praising and trusting God. They have been living the words of the song Praise You In This Storm. Suzanne's storm is over but it continues for her family. They may feel that much of the beauty has been sucked out of their lives. My prayer is that they know in an ever deepening way what it means to worship the God who gives and takes away and that they keep trusting in his mercy so they can be sorrowful and yet always rejoicing.